Confessions of a Logophile

I could spend hours scribbling florid prose about my love for words.  Yes, friends, I am a logophile.

I relished the time I spent poring through terms, studying words like chimera and penury and even circumlocution.  I studied them before bed.  I recited definitions in the shower.  I heckled soccer opponents while holding a textbook.  Why?  Because I love words.

maureen dowd, david brooks, jonathan safran foer, dave eggers, david rakoff
The Palabras Dream Team

Words of the liberal pistolwhip, Maureen Dowd.  Words from the counterpoint to all my best arguments, David Brooks.  Words that slap your face and force you to be human, like Dave Eggers.  Words you’ve never heard of but want to say out loud — by David Rakoff.  And words that dance in your head like Jabbawockeez, from Jonathan Safran Foer. (Aside: Why are so many of my favorite writers named David?)

And yet, there are some words I hate.  They’re stupid.  They’re simple.  They’re misused!  Oh, how they’re misused.  It’s so random and ironic how they’re misused.  When my friend Sarah sent me this blog post about Words We Don’t Say, it got me to thinking about my own list.  So, below I have taken a swift crack at some words I don’t say.  This list will evolve, and I encourage you to submit your own ideas for words to avoid, replace, or murder.

Words We Don’t Say:

  • moist
  • fabulous
  • random
  • ironic
  • noshing
  • panties
  • gauze
  • lover
  • delicious (when describing anything other than food)
  • brain fart
  • blonde moment
  • senior moment
  • chew the fat

And, just so we all understand that I’m not just a nay-sayer, I’ve also included some words that should be used liberally.

Words We Use As Often As Possible:

  • troglodyte
  • greenhorn
  • earnest
  • idiot
  • banana
  • provincial
  • rapscallion
  • vapid
  • hideous
  • boner
  • wunderkind
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6 thoughts on “Confessions of a Logophile

  1. I’m remembering a similar list of “cringe-worthy” words on Meg and Michelle’s wall on Centreville 5 North – moist was on the top of that one too!

  2. torpedo, sanguine, docile, heifer, strudel, cobbler, cuddle, chrysanthemum, sneeze, parsnips, baste, foots, twine, crux, floozy, flummox, filibuster, simpleton, tweak, mash, twins, sweater, puppies (that was on purpose but it doesn’t make them any less valid), seven, wink, log, poof, toaster, stacks, amp, pour, nuts, spew, bolt, badger, vindicate, giggle, gaggle, goggles, gross, lashes, epiphany, butts, dribble, buzz, behemoth, moths, muzzle, tidy, tiny, duet, doo-wop, wolf, humdinger, honey, hulk, aardvark, grabby, sassafras, assassin, asparagus, asps, asphyxiate, feckless, verisimilitude, sticks.

    I’ll end with sticks.

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