Rebuttal: A Tomboy’s Slightly Less Tomboy Older Sister’s Entry: Top 1 Hottest Dude

I received more feedback on my Top 10 list than most entries I’ve written.  It ranged from fervent support to outright disdain. But some readers offered suggestions, none more eloquently than my sister.  I am one who believes that a well-written rebuttal is mightier than passive aggressive comments (e.g., show your tits), so I welcome her submission as my first guest poster to Benign Humor.  Without further ado, mi hermana.

A Tomboy Ranks Her Top 10 Hot Dudes (Part 1 and the Deuce) leave you languid?  Listless?  Lusting for more?  Greetings, Benigneteers, and thanks for having me.  I’m here to blow a little stardust on last week’s list.

Athletes – real, imagined, or some combination  – are good choices, Chris Bosh, Eli Manning, and Blake Griffin notwithstanding.  Sometimes there’s a reason athletes are paid to play with balls and guys like him and him rendezvous with the pretty girls.

Which brings me to The Hottest Dude/Guy/Hoss, Josh Holloway.  Facts are facts, faces are faces, and sometimes faces are facts.  If Yogi Berra hasn’t already taken credit for that gem, I will.

I know it’s true love with Josh because I haven’t watched LOST in nearly 2 years and the feelings haven’t subsided.  Josh has something for everyone.  Like the reformed bad boy finally finding his purpose?  Tune into seasons 5 and 6.  Prefer the challenge of “changing” the rebel?  Watch this clip and eat your heart out.  I could even rationalize him stealing my bag.

Maybe you’re more the Cute Overload type.   Try this on for size.  If that doesn’t do it, the video will.

Josh Holloway even appeals to dudes.  Dominic Monaghan called him “my all time favorite cowboy,” and Joel McHale humbly accepted his status as “Only the Hottest Guy Due to Lack of Competition” when Josh guest starred on Community.  Tom Cruise got wind of it and had him stricken from commercials for Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol. (Is it just me, or is there one too many punctuation marks in that title?)

In conclusion, Josh Holloway’s the bee’s knees, the cat’s meow, and the most to say the least.  He can rock a Hawaiian shirt, a wedding ring, a ponytail, a duckling, a stupid hat, a not-so-stupid hat, a Christmas vest, and a muffin top as pointed out by petty sorostitutes like none other. Even in Color Me Badd knockoffs, I Wanna Sex [Him] Up.

And oh… those dimples.  Take ‘em to church!

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3 thoughts on “Rebuttal: A Tomboy’s Slightly Less Tomboy Older Sister’s Entry: Top 1 Hottest Dude

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