Thursday Morning Quarterbacking: QB Attractiveness Ratings: Tier 4

Good thing for shameless jersey-chasers, helmets, and money.  MY DEAR LORD.  Stay indoors.

Peyton Manning, Denver Broncos

Face fails to reflect
That you’re better than Brady.
Broncos?  Colts?  Horseface.

peyton-manning

Andy Dalton, Cincinnati Bengals

Bengals are orange;
Ginger angry rodent face.
Curtains match the drapes.

andy-dalton

Matt Schaub, Houston Texans

Boring, dark circles
Beneath his bored, distant eyes
A hairline retreats.

matt-schaub-2

Andrew Luck, Indianapolis Colts

Goofy can be cute,
But let us not forget this:
Neck beard is a choice.

andrew-luck

Phil Rivers, San Diego Chargers

You sniveling hog!
A dump truck filled with backwash
Please lose thirty pounds.

philip-rivers

Ben Roethlisberger, Pittsburgh Steelers

I hate your body:
An upside down bowling pin.
Plus, you’re a rapist.ben-roethlisberger

Jay Cutler, Chicago Bears

A permanent frown?
Mediocrity shan’t be
So smug and dickish.

BEARS-APP-ROSENBLOOM

John Skelton, Arizona Cardinals

I just need to know.
If inbreeding is outlawed,
What the fuck happened?

john-skelton

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2 thoughts on “Thursday Morning Quarterbacking: QB Attractiveness Ratings: Tier 4

  1. Skelton’s head is like Arnold from Hey Arnold! except vertical instead of horizontal. I actually shuddered when I scrolled down to his picture.

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