What to do when one of your Top 10 Hottest Dudes signs with the Yankees

This is my nightmare.  Jacoby Ellsbury, who previously held the NUMBER TWO spot on my list of hottest dudes, joins Oscar Pistorius as the second man whose membership on this elite list has been revoked for shameful acts. After six years in a Red Sox uniform, Ellsbury turned his back on his fans, the organization,… Read More What to do when one of your Top 10 Hottest Dudes signs with the Yankees

Thursday Morning Quarterbacking: QB Attractiveness Ratings: Tier 4

Good thing for shameless jersey-chasers, helmets, and money.  MY DEAR LORD.  Stay indoors. Peyton Manning, Denver Broncos Face fails to reflect That you’re better than Brady. Broncos?  Colts?  Horseface. Andy Dalton, Cincinnati Bengals Bengals are orange; Ginger angry rodent face. Curtains match the drapes. Matt Schaub, Houston Texans Boring, dark circles Beneath his bored, distant… Read More Thursday Morning Quarterbacking: QB Attractiveness Ratings: Tier 4

Wednesday Morning Quarterbacking: QB Attractiveness Rating, Tier 3

Some of these guys are getting homely.  Tier 3, hopefully these guys developed a personality to accompany their athletic talent. Joe Flacco, Baltimore Ravens You’re average, Joe. But I have just one question: What is your eyebrow? Ryan Fitzpatrick, Buffalo Bills You’ve seen this guy, right? Generic white bearded man… But he’s from Harvard. Matt… Read More Wednesday Morning Quarterbacking: QB Attractiveness Rating, Tier 3

Tuesday Morning Quarterbacking: QB Attractiveness Rating, Tier 2

Today, haikus about the second hottest group of NFL QBs.  Tier 2, Average to Slightly Above Average Dudes. Drew Brees, New Orleans Saints Fit, kind eyes, nice smile. He looks like a gym teacher. Is that an insult? Michael Vick, Philadelphia Eagles Almond eyes, square jaw. Since I hate the word ‘sexy,’ Just a handsome… Read More Tuesday Morning Quarterbacking: QB Attractiveness Rating, Tier 2

Monday Morning Quarterbacking: QB Attractiveness Ratings: Tier 1

There’s always been something special about the position of quarterback.  We’ve built storylines around him.  We can’t “Remember the Titans” without Sunshine.  “Varsity Blues” made us believe that Dawson might not be a pussy.  And Friday Night Lights gave us the Holy Trinity of Jason Street, Matt Saracen, and Vince Howard. It’s the most glamorous… Read More Monday Morning Quarterbacking: QB Attractiveness Ratings: Tier 1