Do you hear that? The mellifluous notes your heart plays on loop until some no-name sophomore from Wofford drains a last second three over your team’s senior captain (possibly playing through an injury?) and ruins your life. March Madness, you mystical enchantress, I’ve been waiting for you. I know you will find new ways to… Read More That Selection Sunday Feeling
This just in. A male friend emailed me to ask my thoughts on the whole Gronk lap dance with Julie Stewart-Binks. The Question: Do you blame Gronk for that lap dance? If so, did you get to see the full clip where the female reporter asked him to dance? Is this not one of the… Read More Gronk, Sports Media, Women, and Just Knowing Better In General
Fulfilling every dad’s fondest dream [for his son*]: while playing an honest game of catch, the football coach scouted me. … Read More Blondes vs. Brunettes: A story of football, charity, and making your dad proud
Try something. See if it works. If it does, you might PR. If it doesn’t, you might be disappointed.
Behold! The beauty and the agony of endurance sports.… Read More Marine Corps Marathon 2014: Not Great, Not Terrible
I can’t sleep anymore this morning, both because it’s after 6am and because I have this little blip of nervous energy that won’t let me rest. Ordinarily, I would go for a run, but today it is pouring. In Recife, it has rained a little bit everyday, a cloud strolling by on its way to… Read More Don’t Say It If You Don’t Mean It: I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN
This is my nightmare. Jacoby Ellsbury, who previously held the NUMBER TWO spot on my list of hottest dudes, joins Oscar Pistorius as the second man whose membership on this elite list has been revoked for shameful acts. After six years in a Red Sox uniform, Ellsbury turned his back on his fans, the organization,… Read More What to do when one of your Top 10 Hottest Dudes signs with the Yankees
Good thing for shameless jersey-chasers, helmets, and money. MY DEAR LORD. Stay indoors. Peyton Manning, Denver Broncos Face fails to reflect That you’re better than Brady. Broncos? Colts? Horseface. Andy Dalton, Cincinnati Bengals Bengals are orange; Ginger angry rodent face. Curtains match the drapes. Matt Schaub, Houston Texans Boring, dark circles Beneath his bored, distant… Read More Thursday Morning Quarterbacking: QB Attractiveness Ratings: Tier 4
Some of these guys are getting homely. Tier 3, hopefully these guys developed a personality to accompany their athletic talent. Joe Flacco, Baltimore Ravens You’re average, Joe. But I have just one question: What is your eyebrow? Ryan Fitzpatrick, Buffalo Bills You’ve seen this guy, right? Generic white bearded man… But he’s from Harvard. Matt… Read More Wednesday Morning Quarterbacking: QB Attractiveness Rating, Tier 3
Today, haikus about the second hottest group of NFL QBs. Tier 2, Average to Slightly Above Average Dudes. Drew Brees, New Orleans Saints Fit, kind eyes, nice smile. He looks like a gym teacher. Is that an insult? Michael Vick, Philadelphia Eagles Almond eyes, square jaw. Since I hate the word ‘sexy,’ Just a handsome… Read More Tuesday Morning Quarterbacking: QB Attractiveness Rating, Tier 2
There’s always been something special about the position of quarterback. We’ve built storylines around him. We can’t “Remember the Titans” without Sunshine. “Varsity Blues” made us believe that Dawson might not be a pussy. And Friday Night Lights gave us the Holy Trinity of Jason Street, Matt Saracen, and Vince Howard. It’s the most glamorous… Read More Monday Morning Quarterbacking: QB Attractiveness Ratings: Tier 1
